Issue #1 (9-02-01)
by Gerry Wang
There are times when I need a forum to express myself, free from the restraints of decorum and propriety. A forum where there is no censorship or temperance, where I can, for once, wear my heart on my sleeve. Rice has generously donated me a kidney, metaphorically speaking, by allotting me an entire motherfucking section on his web site to serve as my playground. He has also been a saint in helping me w/ the coding and formatting.
I must not neglect to mention that Kansur has also let me move into his garage, metaphorically speaking, by letting me use his server space. Thank you guys. This wouldn't have been possible w/o your help. I also must thank the readers, because they help me pay the bills and feed the kids. Without you guys reading this stuff, it wouldn't exist. Hmmm... what I just wrote presents a temporal conundrum, but what I'm trying to say is, thanks for reading my writing and giving me enough feedback to satisfy my raging ego and motivate me to continue.
How I intend to use this nameless serial, known only as Gerry's Weird Shit, is something even I don't know. I essentially will just write what pops into my head. I will use this page the same way Rice uses the News Page, only more crudely and less concisely. I hope you readers enjoy it. With each issue, I'll do a personal Top 10 list, because HIGH FIDELITY was right-- Guys do enjoy making lists. I also plan to highlight/ogle a chick in each issue by putting up some pictures personally chosen by either me or Rice. More chicks!
Aaliyah Dana Haughton (1979-2001)
Our prayers go out to the friends and family of Aaliyah and the people that died
w/ her. As you all know, singer and budding actress Aaliyah Haughton was
tragically killed in a plan crash last Saturday on her way back from shooting a
video in the Bahamas. She was only 22 years old. Hell, she was born the same
year I was. It just goes to show that sometimes the saying "The good die
young" rings all too true. Rest
in peace.
Rants and Ravings
I
recently bought myself a brand spankin' new Glacier-colored Game Boy
Advance. I also received 
Mario Kart Super Circuit as a gift and bought myself Pokemon Crystal. The GBA is a wonderful little
system that represents the next generation of handheld consoles. The 32-bit
graphics are crisp and vibrant, a huge step forward from the old monochrome
and Gameboy Color systems. There's even an extended multiplayer function
where you can link up and play other people with only one game cartridge! I
have an extra brand new Indigo Game Boy Advance, since in my haste I won
multiple auctions on Ebay. Anyone interested? I'll give it to you for $88
flat. Save almost $10 off retail price + tax. E-mail
me if you have any questions.
Every morning Rice wakes up by
showering and grabbing a cup of regular coffee w/ minimal cream. I, on the
other hand, hop onto www.flashyourrack.com
for my morning picker-upper. At Flash Your Rack, people take pictures of
their bosoms and submit them for scrutiny by other web surfers, much like
the popular Hot Or Not website. Gives
you a real boost in the morning to look at boobies. Of course, men are
allowed to submit their chests, and every so often we get some prankster
putting up pics of the ugliest fucking racks you've ever seen. I find myself
rating the natural looking breasts higher than the rock hard synthetic ones.
I flirted w/ the idea of sneaking in some examples behind Rice's back, but
the last I checked, pigs haven't sprouted wings.
I saw THE OTHERS recently. Man,
I haven't been chilled like that since this little movie called THE SIXTH
SENSE came out a couple years ago. THE OTHERS is a classic ghost/haunted
house movie w/ a doozy of an ending. Everyone, bypass BUBBLE BOY and go
watch THE OTHERS. Prepare to be frightened. A summer movie recap will be on
Issue #2. I've watched at least 20 flicks this summer. Ugh, I am a loser.
I am going to make a bold
prediction: LORD OF THE RINGS: Fellowship of the Ring will not only be a
commercial hit, but will be nominated for Best Picture. There's no other
movie franchise I'm anticipating as much as LOTR, especially after the
announcement of the title "Attack of the Clones." What the fuck is
Lucas smoking..........
Top 10 List: TV Dads
To me, all television sitcoms are crap. They're all unfunny, cliched, poorly acted, and pretentious. Unless they're on FOX. There's only one channel I watch these days, and it's FOX. They house all my favorite shows, and soon the NFC games start. I love that freaking channel. Here's the Top 10 dads on television. Notice the abundance of characters from FOX. Please, chime in w/ your nominations and/or preferred ranking!
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Pictorial Tribute: Zhang Ziyi
Ah, the leading candidate to oust incumbent Miss Rice World Natalie Portman. The Beeotch Contest will return now that I have full rein over this page. Muhahaha.
Here's some exclusive pics that only can be found on the Net here at Rice World. These were taken with a digital camera when my parents went to the Oscars this past March. I've only included the Zhang Ziyi pics, but if you want to see the others, please tell me:
