Issue #2 (9-08-01)
by Gerry Wang

Access previous issue by clicking here. From now on, I'm not going to plug myself on Rice's news page. It's difficult to coordinate. So I'm just going to update at whim, and you'll just have to check if I published a new issue by visiting Rice World every day. =) Sorry about these Gestapo tactics, but our ratings hurt our feelings.

Thanks go out to Dogfather and Gasman for their kind words that gave me enough encouragement to put out Issue #2.

Rants and Ravings

• You know how on every Monday night on The Tonight Show, Jay Leno has his Headlines segment? Well, I happen to laugh my ass off at those, and if you're a fan of idiotic typos, hop on over to www.3bp.com. They have funny headlines and pics. You'll laugh, you'll cry, you'll hurl. They seem to be down right now, but check back in a few days. Here's an example:
  
  
  
  

• I recently went to a Depeche Mode concert at the Staples Center, part of the Exciter tour. Man, there really ain't nothing that compares to actually being at a concert and seeing the band live. There's an energy the courses through the crowd, as if all our midi-chlorians were geared towards one thing-- enjoying the crap out of the evening and worshipping one of the greatest bands of the 80's.
  
  

• Anyone that regularly watches Conan O'Brien, whom I'm a big fan of, knows Triumph the Insult Comic Dog. He's just a horny, foul-mouthed sock puppet, but the fucker has me rolling of the floor laughing on a consistent basis. When he goes "for me to poop on!", his signature insult, I start giggling uncontrollably. Did you know the man/voice behind Triumph is Robert Smigel of SNL and its TV Funhouse fame? The man created Triumph and also Ace & Gary from The Ambiguously Gay Duo. Robert Smigel is a friggin' god. Here's a link to some of Triumph's clips. Click!
  
  
  
  

• Death on Wheels
  
  Time to get serious for a second. There is a menace that plagues society today, one that is overlooked but a greater threat than some innocently hungry sharks. This menace is one that affects all of us, and has come close to killing a good friend of mine. I am talking about senior citizen motorists.
  
  A few days ago I was speeding along Huntington since I was late for work. I stop at a stoplight and look to my right, where I notice a geezer beckoning me to lower my window. I lower it and he goes, "Why are you driving so fast? Slow down!" I was like, "Fuck you old man," and I close the window. That senile motherfucker had the gall to hit me up over my driving? I speed, but never outrageously. To me, slow geezers are more of a traffic hazard than fast drivers, because if someone has the balls to drive fast, he probably is a decent driver w/ good coordination.
  
  I'm sure you guys know what I'm talking about. There are some horrible drivers here in the Monterey Park/Alhambra/San Gabriel area. They drive too slow, far below speed limit, causing a lot of sudden braking by other motorists. They also make slow, unsafe lane changes and often narrowly miss being hit, either by the other driver's superior reaction or the grace of God. But sometimes, we're not so lucky.
  
  A friend of mine was sitting w/ his family in a food court down in Laughlin, Nevada. Out of nowhere, a demented geezer plows through the protective barrier of the mall and crashes right into my friend's table, sending everyone sprawling. My friend was lucky, only suffering a bad knee injury. But his mom was totally fucked up. Broke her hip, among other injuries. She was confined to a wheelchair for many months and couldn't go to work. Couldn't even answer the fucking doorbell when people went to visit.
  
  This type of shit doesn't have to happen. People over 60 should not be allowed to drive unless they are road-tested every 6 months. When a certified DMV examiner deems the senior citizen fit to drive, then they won't get their licenses suspended. This may be a stupid idea, but there has to be some regulation of this phantom menace to civilization.

How I Go About Buying a DVD

    Ever since my parents got their home theater system, I've developed a fetish for DVDs. I have 86 and counting, I think. Rather than buying dime bags, I buy movies I feel deserve to be part of my collection. It gives me an endorphin high for some reason. 86 DVDs at retail price has bank-breaking potential, so I've developed a nose for sniffing out good deals on the Net. Here are some tips for buying DVDs:

• Know your MSRP. Anything around 40% off the Manufacturer's Suggested Retail Price is a good deal. Don't be a cheap sonofabitch, but don't get swindled. You also have to figure in shipping and tax, sometimes. What I do, if I buy a DVD online, is take the total and divide it by 1.08 in order to simulate buying the disc at a store. 
  
  

• Know your online discounts. There are plenty of sites that tell you if a coupon or certificate is available. Here are some of my favorite online DVD buying resources:
  
  www.dvdpricesearch.com - This is the best site for comparing prices. It basically does all the shopping around for you, plus it notifies you of discounts and lowered MSRPs. It also scours hard copy ads. An awesome site for DVD-philes like me.
  
  www.a2zdeals.com - They are better at organizing coupons than the aforementioned site, and sometimes they have discounts not mentioned on said site.
  
  www.half.com - They have an automatic $5 off $10 for new customers program, and if you trust other people, you can find great deals here. They also have a lot of other discounts that you can look up at the above two sites.
  
  www.deepdiscountdvd.com - This is an online e-tailer, but it is undoubtedly the best one. They have a price match policy, so if you find a better deal elsewhere, give them the URL and they'll beat it. Their shipping and handling is free, but to compensate they raise the price of the DVD. But you can't find better deals anywhere if you base it purely on total cost. Right now you can grab Memento for $16.79, s/h + tax included. What a deal! But.....
  
  

• Know your DVD edition details. You see the abbreviations THX and DTS, and you wonder what the fuck it means. Well, those few letters can mean a difference of like 5 bucks. You must know what you're getting when you buy a DVD. Check out the film transfer- is it anamorphic widescreen? What's the aspect ratio? What region code is it? 
  
  Most important to me is what features are on it. For example, the Memento DVD I mentioned above is cheap, but thin on features. W/ a movie like Memento, you just know there's bound to be a "forward" version of the movie somewhere, along w/ some director's commentary so he can explain what the fuck he was thinking. But there isn't, and you should be suspicious of future "Special Edition" releases that render the first DVD release useless.
  
  Take Spy Kids for example. The DVD comes September 18, and you know there was recently a re-release of Spy Kids: Special Edition. BUT! The additional scenes are NOT on the September 18 release. In fact, that release is pretty bare-bones. Not worthy of a purchase in my book. Now take Shrek for example. On November 2nd, you will be treated to a fucking ton of extra features in a 2-disc set. Now that's more worthy, right? Here's some places to find out the nitty-gritty on DVDs:
  
  www.dvdjournal.com - Good, detailed reviews. Gives you a whole list of a DVDs extras, and every month there are DVD giveaways.
  
  www.dvdtalk.com - Same as above, only w/ a useful forum.
  
  

• Know your release calendar. Plan your purchases by scouting what's ahead. Combining orders saves on shipping, and the more you spend, the more certain coupons will aid you. You can also anticipate the releases and save up for them. BestBuy almost always puts first-week releases on sale. One of the few times going to a store is cheaper than buying online. You can browse their weekly ad at their official site, www.bestbuy.com or buy a Sunday LA Times.
  
  

• Do not fear Ebay. This is how I acquire most of my DVDs. If you have the persistence and perseverance to competitively bid and bid and bid, more often than not you can find great deals. Beware though. Read listings carefully and ALWAYS ask the seller if you're not sure on something. It is a pain in the ass to dispute transactions on Ebay. I recommend digging up Dutch Auctions, where you're almost assured to get a DVD cheap.

2001 Summer Movie Roundup

    This summer, I practically spent every Friday night at the AMC 20 in Poontang Hills. The movie theater became THE place to conduct social get-togethers, because every damn week there was a new blockbuster being rolled out. Me being cheap also led me to start theater-hopping, so I was able to catch some little movies that would've never paid for. So here's a list of what thought of the movies I saw this summer, beginning in May and ending in August:

The Best (ranked)

1.) The Others - If this movie didn't have so many parts that dragged, it would've made my all-time list. Had one of the best endings of all time, plus a great edge-of-sanity performance by Nicole Kidman.

2.) Rush Hour 2 - Funny from start to finish, and Chris Tucker is a riot. People bash him for being loud and obnoxious and anti-white people. Notice how only white people have a problem w/ him.

3.) Shrek - Sorry, I'm not one of those people that ejaculate whenever someone mentions Shrek. It was excellent, but not better than the Toy Story movies. Felt the ending was a cop-out, since Cameron Diaz stayed a beautiful princess rather than an ugly troll like Shrek.

4.) The Fast and the Furious - Adrenaline pumping, heart beating-out-your-chest racing thriller. They brought the Supra out of retirement. Excellent...... I just had a problem w/ how they made Asians stupid enough to take on cars while riding motorcycles. Gee, who's gonna win?

5.) The Score - What a great cast. De Niro, Brandon, and the rising star Ed Norton. Great heist movie, especially in its realism. This particularly true in the scenes protraying the physical strain of actually pulling off a heist. Being a burglar ain't easy work.

6.) Made - Stars Jon Favreau and Vince Vaughn of Swingers fame. How could it not be good? I didn't get to watch the whole thing, but during the 45 minutes I did watch, I sensed greatness. Gonna catch it for sure in its entirety.

7.) Pearl Harbor - Didn't suck, but could've been great if less Disney-sanitized. What they needed was a director like Steven Spielberg, who would command the respect of the studio so that they'd let him show his original vision.

8.) American Pie 2 - More of the same old, same old, but hey, it's nice to re-visit old friends. Who can forget Jim, Oz, and Stifler? I do have one beef. SPOILERS AHEAD! Stop reading. Anyway, Shermanator gets Nadia. I've never heard an audience simultaneously groan before.

9.) Jurassic Park 3 - I love dinosaurs, and the pteradons were just the best. Too bad the movie was so shallow and haphazardly written. Now here's a movie where digital actors were all they needed.

10.) Jay & Silent Bob Strike Back - Raunchy fun, w/ hot chicks and great celebrity cameos. Nice way to close the summer. This is one of those "love it or hate it" movies. I enjoyed it a whole lot. Jason Mewes IS Jay. I still believe Jay and Silent Bob are real life people.

The Piddling Middle of the Road

Legally Blonde - I saw this for free, so no one better make that w-psh! whipped sound.

A.I. - This movie might have to grow on me. Grow on me like fucking fungus, 'cause it sucked.

Dr. Doolittle 2 - Amiable talking animals, w/ Eddie Murphy schmoozing his way through the whole movie. Good for kids.

Kiss of the Dragon - Death by Acupuncture. Good violence in this movie, but I personally am looking forward to The One more.

Scary Movie 2 - I enjoyed this one more than the first one, probably because I didn't have to keep covering my 12-year old cousin's eyes this time around.

Evolution - Unmemorable. I forgot I even watched this movie. It disappeared off the radar fast.

Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within - Awesome graphics, stupid story, statue-like characters. Rice was right: A 2-hour cutscene.

The Crap

Planet of the Apes - Damn you! You maniacs! You fucked up a good franchise! Damn you all to hellll!

Moulin Rouge - I was thoroughly irritated by this movie. I usually love musicals, but I don't like to be bludgeoned by them.

The Mummy Returns - I left the movie scratching my head. I was supposed to enjoy movies like this. I coulda sworn.........

Lara Croft: Tomb Raider - Wow, did Angelina Jolie have a bad summer or what. First Tomb Raider, then the following movie.

Original Sin - They caught my attention whenever Angelina Jolie's titties came on, but unfortunately, they weren't enough to save this harlequin romance novel-like film.

Sorry I Missed 'Em



Atlantis: The Lost Empire - Fuck, I wanted to watch this so badly. I will catch it on rental one of these days.

The Princess Diaries - The trailer said it all. First, I was like, fuck that girl is fugly. Then I was like, oh shit, she is pretty. They deserve a special effects Oscar for this makeover.

Spy Kids: Special Edition - The original Spy Kids was fucking awesome. I kept raving about it to everyone, but everyone looked at me w/ pity, like I had a serious case of Peter Pan syndrome. But I'm telling you Spy Kids is enjoyable for people of all ages. It's fun, energetic, and full of wonderful gadgets. The Special Edition had a couple new scenes, like the one in the cave of sleeping sharks.

Top 10 List: Movie Score Composers

    Continuing the movie theme, this issue's Top 10 list is about movie composers. Not many people know this, but I'm sort of a film score junkie. To me, a score often makes or breaks a movie. The music you hear is integral to the overall experience of the film. Just imagine watching Jaws w/o John Williams' tension building music. Or try watching any serial killer movie w/o the suspenseful strings that let us know something was going to happen. It's impossible.

    The score changes the face of the movie, and sometimes it transcends it, assimilated into our pop culture. Famous scores will pop up in commercials, TV segments, ice skating, sitcoms, trailers; hell, I myself want to forgo Mendelssohn's Wedding March (from A Midsummer Night's Dream) in favor of The Imperial March from Star Wars when I get hitched! Here are my favorite composers of film scores, and some of my favorites by them.

Check these out on Morpheus if you have the chance:

1.) John Williams - Star Wars franchise, Indiana Jones franchise, Jurassic Park, Jaws, the list goes on and on......

2.) James Horner - Titanic, Braveheart, Legends of the Fall, Apollo 13

3.) Hans Zimmer - Gladiator, The Rock, Crimson Tide

4.) Danny Elfman - The Simpsons, Batman, Edward Scissorhands

5.) Randy Edelman - Dragonheart, Gettysburg, Dragon: The Bruce Lee Story, The Last of the Mohicans

6.) Basil Poledouris - Conan franchise, Starship Troopers, Robocop

7.) Rachel Portman - The Legend of Bagger Vance, The Cider House Rules

8.) Alan Silvestri - Forrest Gump, Predator, Back to the Future franchise, Father of the Bride

9.) Thomas Newman - How to Make an American Quilt, Little Women, The Shawshank Redemption

10.) Alan Menken - The Little Mermaid, Beauty and the Beast, Aladdin

Pictorial Tribute: Elsa Benitez

    Did you know Elsa Benitez, the 2001 Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue cover girl and Victoria's Secret vixen, is my good friend's aunt once removed? I already requested to be present at the next family reunion. Sorta makes me uncomfortable to put up these pics, but hey, we're doing all we can to further her upstart career right? =P