Issue #3 (9-21-01)
by Gerry Wang

I will have an archive page set up soon, so don't worry about missing past issues. I doubt this is a problem, since I represent the nadir of Rice World's ratings. You know, that giant sucking sound you hear when you visit.

Anyway, this has been the hardest issue to put out. In light of recent tragedies, I've been asking myself, Why bother? Does this even matter right now? How could I crack jokes when there are scores of people suffering? How could I be so insensitive?

But, as President Bush said, and I'm paraphrasing, We must continue to live a normal life, because if we don't, the terrorist have succeeded. 

Look at the shitty economy now. People are pulling out their money. This is a standard correction, mind you, but one that doesn't have to happen. Basic human emotion is dragging down stock prices because people are depressed. Stocks that have been overvalued could have stayed overvalued. Shit, some price to earnings ratios have actually been improving, and they're still shorting. Hold onto your stocks or pump more money in. Have faith in the government. Don't yank your money out and let it sit. Instead, try a mutual fund. It's steady and diversified.

Ok, I'm getting off my soapbox now.

Rants and Ravings

• Has anyone been able to buy a flag recently? Fuck, I've been visiting every damn place I think sells flags, and they all claim they're sold out. What the dillio? I want to get a 3'x5' flag w/ the pole mount so I can fly it on my house. Instead, I have a small one stuck to the window of my room, and a poster of a flag I'm hanging on my other window. Weak...... Can anyone hook me up w/ info? If you want to buy the kind that clips onto your car window, check this out at Ebay. Click!
  
  

• I was going to do a small football preview, but my appetite for sports has sort of diminished lately. Nonetheless, here's my playoff predictions. Feel free to post your own predictions:

• Anyone here like seafood? I love seafood. My favorite is lobster, and if you're a lobster aficionado, come on and join me at Lobsterfest 2001!! Each year they have a festival to honor the tastiest crustacean known to man. This year it's on October 5, 6, and 7 at San Pedro, and admission is $6. I went there a couple years ago when it was at Long Beach and I had a blast. $10 got you a whole lobster meal. I got like three of them. This year they raised the price to $11 for a meal, but that's still pretty sweet. There's also a lot of booths set up that sells other types of food, so even if you don't like lobster, you can still eat good food. Plus there's beer! Swig a couple Heinekens and go join the square dancing contest. Tons o' fun for all. Women can shop the booths that sell trinkets, kids can play in the amusement center..... click on the picture to visit the official site and get more details.

Top 10 List: Chick Shows I Hate

    I think this Top 10 list will get me into trouble. Ah well, fuck it. I'm not as sexist as you think. I watch Dawson's Creek. I've written a whole article on why Popular kicked ass (past tense, 'cause it has since been cancelled). I watched Temptation Island religiously. I don't even think Sex In The City is all that bad, despite the fact all its characters are horny sluts that hate men. I think the Powerpuff Girls are pretty cool. There are just certain shows that have such a feminist vibe that I can't stomach watching them for more than a few seconds. Here are the culprits:

1.) Ally McBeal - Man, is she a bitch or what?

2.) Felicity - Ditto.

3.) The Rosie O'Donnell Show - Ditto.

4.) The View - Old, ugly women sit around and bash men, then when Jason Sehorn comes on they keep groping him. I'm not kidding at all.

5.) The Oprah Winfrey Show - Will this bitch get off her high horse already? She's in the Fortune 500, yet women think they identify w/ her.

6.) Will & Grace - Women and gay guys. Now there's an unexplainable phenomenon.

7.) Charmed - Ding dong, the bitch is dead. I mean witch! I mean witch!

8.) Gilmore Girls - Touching mother/daughter stuff. Gag......

9.) Dharma & Greg - Why the hell would a white chick have an Indian name?

10.) Three Sisters - See, these aren't the guy-fantasy-3-sisters-in-an-orgy type of bitches.

Pictorial Tribute: Josie Maran