Each month, Rice and I will select two ladies from relative obscurity, and use the considerable might of Rice World to catapult them to stardom, ala American Idol. These are chicks who are on the verge of stardom, and are either starting to collect heavy buzz, or deserve to. At the end of the year, the RiceMate of the Year will have an automatic berth in the annual Beeotch Contest.
Rice: Although I never regularly followed either Bachelor shows, I ended up watching most of the Bachelorette because of two words: Trista Rehn. When I first saw an ABC commercial plugging the show, I thought, man, she is hot. And when I caught the premiere episode, I thought, man, she is cute. And when I saw how she handled herself after many more episodes, I thought, man, she is smooth. And when I saw her pick Ryan over Charlie in the end, I thought, man, she is smart. I also had a brief homicidal urge against Ryan, but because Trista chose him, I surpressed it ruthlessly. I will be surprised if they don't end up married and happily ever after.
Gerry: I didn't watch a single second of any of the "Bachelor" or "Bachelorette" shows, but I definitely knew who Trista was. The first Bachelor didn't pick her, and after seeing how she looked, I was aghast at that idiot's stupidity. She looks like a poor man's Jenny McCarthy! Whatta friggin dope. Here's hoping she has a long, happy marriage to that pansy poetry-writer from "The Bacherlorette."
Rice: Dog Eat Dog is an inherantly retarded game show. Only one entity has kept it afloat, and it is Brooke Burns. Now, she may be very witty and intelligent off camera, but on it, Brooke is your typical wooden blonde bombshell, i.e. she is freaking hot. Thanks to a tight, revealing, and lacy wardrobe, her fine figure is augmented only that much to the nth degree. Oooh... and the Maxim pics... drool...
Gerry: Last summer, I didn't miss a single episode of "Dog Eat Dog." Not because I enjoy seeing people embarrass themselves for free (ok, I do) but because Brooke Burns kept me firmly planted to the couch. It's hard to believe that body has given birth before. Wow. She's got a great figure, and that long flowing curly hair she had during the summer was sexxxy.
Rice: Because we missed a month, and because we're bowing out in a few weeks, Gerry and I have decided to co-pick Monica Bellucci as an RMOM. I haven't seen Tears of the Sun, nor the highly controversial Irreversible, so the only judgement I can make is that she looks a lot like Rachel Weisz. And she has a fine rack. That is all.
Gerry: Monica Bellucci was originally my pick. Then I watched the rape scene of IRREVERSIBLE, and all of a sudden I couldn't look at her in the same way ever again. I don't dare objectify Ms. Bellucci. Here, we are honoring her soon-to-be-U.S.-stardom, in light of TEARS FROM THE SUN's modest success, and the impending controversy of IRREVERSIBLE's domestic release. When the MATRIX sequels come out, everyone will know her. And be damn afraid to make chauvinistic comments in front of her.
Gerry: Occasionally, we here at Rice World send Miss Rice World on diplomatic missions in hostile territories to represent our sovereign website. As a safety precaution, we have a body double that can act as a decoy and allow the real Miss Rice World to escape under the guise of a handmaiden. Well, now that Rice World's days are waning, it's time to reveal the identity of Miss Rice World's decoy, Keira Knightley.
Okay okay, tongue has been removed from cheek. Aside from STAR WARS: EPISODE I - THE PHANTOM MENACE, soon you can see Keira in BEND IT LIKE BECKHAM, a women's soccer movie. As far as I can tell, the title does not refer to a phallus. She'll also been in PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN w/ Johnny Depp, Geoffrey Rush, and Orlando Bloom. Keira as a pirate wench? I'm there.
Rice: Another unknown to me. From the pics, she reminds me of Winona Ryder. Probably because of her smile and heavily mascara'd eyes. Who was she in The Phantom Menace?? Oh wait... body double... I get it.
Gerry: I have no idea how old Hilary Duff is, nor do I want to know. What I don't know can't be illegal right? =) I'll refrain from making any lewd comments about her. All I know is Frankie Muniz (CODY BANKS) is one lucky teenager. Hilary kind of reminds me of a young Jenna Jameson, and there's just something about girls w/ bangs that turns me on. Oh wait, I've just made some lewd comments. Aw, fuck it. I think within a year, as she loses her baby fat, Hilary Duff will be the next big thing. She's already a successful recording artist, has one the top-rated TV shows on cable, and has signed a multi-million dollar contract to star in a movie. All this and she looks like a porn star. Hoo ah.
Rice: Although I've seen promos of Lizzie McGuire on the Disney channel, I never knew she was Hilary Duff. If she has a Disney show, she must be too young. Gerry is getting me back for not letting him pick Emma Watson last time. Anyway, she reminds me a bit of that woman who plays Kevin James' wife in the CBS sitcom King of Queens. And from Gerry's comments, I figure Jenna Jameson must be some porn star. I'd go look it up proper, but my roommates are around right now, and I don't want them to think I surf for that kind of smut.
Hilary Duff is like... 16, I hear. Don't worry, many people are waiting for her to turn 18.
Think again Sumir she turned 18 a couple ov months ago and she is now single and i hear shes afta a guy wit a heart not just a guy who wants her 4 her body...ttyl and Hil call me l8r about the america thing im still up 4 it if u r...k ttyl bye bye
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you guys' tastes are crazy, hilary Duff is butters - she'll be as bad as miss spears in a few years!!!! the only good choice is kiera knightly, who is beautiful, but mainly because she's also very intelligent - something that you don't even consider!!!!
Keira is ugly!! eeeeeu!! omfg, shes so fucking ugly!! whats wrong with u peeps?!!:O :O
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Keira is ugly!! yes she is!! SHES 2 SKINNY!! UGLY GIRL,..BURN IN HELL
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i gotta say the weirdo thats all about "keiras ugly blah blah ~" how sad, obviously jealou ?? i mean your proabbly about 22 stone, crying coz you cant get up in the morning, and have just realised your husband fancies her LMAO, and can you blame him lol, my hubby has a strange thing for keira, i thinks hes a very pretty lady, i think id be more offended if he fancied a slag or a complete horror, then id be worried ROFL
maren and stian ARE TOTAL NOBS for the above comments !!!!!
I think its funny how all of you can talk about keira knightley being amazingly hot, but only I know the true wonders of her...
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