THE LORD OF THE RINGS: THE FELLOWSHIP OF THE RING
Starring: Elijah Wood, Ian McKellen, Viggo Mortensen
Directed by: Peter Jackson
Distributed by: New Line Cinema

Date: 1/1/02
By: Rice & Gerry

    This is it. This movie has changed my life profoundly. After watching THE LORD OF THE RINGS: THE FELLOWSHIP OF THE RING, I've decided to make a few lifestyle changes. First, I will no longer scour the Net for spoilers. Second, I will read reviews AFTER I watch the movie, unless I need a certain amount of persuasion to watch the movie. Last, if the movie is based on a book, I will not read the book before watching the movie.

    I've been tiptoeing around giving my true thoughts on LOTR:FOTR. It's been a gorilla on my back. Folks, I didn't think it was one of the best movies of all time. I'm sorry. People have been gushing about how good the movie is, and how STAR WARS better watch its back. For me, STAR WARS is still head over heels the superior sci-fi/fantasy franchise.

We are the knights who say "Ni!"

    Don't get me wrong. I wanted to love THE LORD OF THE RINGS. I wanted to embrace it, like converting to a new religion. I wanted to thumb my nose at Lucas making Anakin a whiny stalker. But instead, I ruined it for myself by giving in to the insurmountable hype surrounding LOTR:FOTR. For this, I blame the allure of the One Ring.

    I've been working myself into a frenzy over LOTR for over 3 years now, ever since I heard New Line was making 3 movies based on THE LORD OF THE RINGS. I bought the book in 1999, w/ "The Fellowship of the Ring," "The Two Towers," and "The Return of the King" all glued together in one gigantic volume, as J.R.R. Tolkien intended it to be. I just never got around to reading it all. I'd start, but then the language and monotony would force me to stop.

L-R: Sam, Frodo, Merry, Pippin

    After a while, I put the book down and it gathered dust. I found myself satisfied enough by browsing the hundreds of fan sites and movie news sites on the WWW. Every few days or so, sites like Ain't It Cool News would run a spy report on the happenings down in New Zealand, where director Peter Jackson was filming the trilogy. I'd lap it up like a hungry dog.

    But one pitfall of browsing the Internet too much is that you spoil things for yourself. This why I've sworn off looking for spoilers and spy reports. I've also sworn off reading reviews unless absolutely necessary. I found out too much about LOTR. I watched too much behind the scenes footage. I viewed too much pictures taken of the production.

Too many close-ups of Gimli. Never got a good look at a dwarf's fighting style, but according to Golden Axe  it consistsof tumbling on the ground.

    In short, I ruined my experience for myself. LOTR being adapted from an established story well known to the entire planet didn't help either. Basically, the whole story is already laid out, and you can find out everything that happens w/o watching a second of film. It's all in the book. Where's the suspense supposed to come from? We know exactly what to look for. No surprises in store for the audience.

    But at the very least I'd get some eye candy right?

    Alas, I spoiled LOTR visually for myself as well. I got my hands on as much behind-the-scenes footage as I could get. I watched every damn television piece on it, ranging from FOX's lame "Quest for the Ring" special to the informative National Geographic special on the historical parallels of the LOTR to the contemporary world. I knew how every goddamn locale looked, I knew how all the armor and weapons looked. I even knew how the clasp holding Frodo's cape looked.

Cate Banshee as Galadriel, a totally superfluous character.

<begin spoiler>

    Even on the official website there are a ton of web documentaries, pictures, and interviews that can potential spoil the movie for you. Ian McKellen talked about playing Gandalf the Grey differently from Gandalf the White. A naive person like me would naturally go research what the fuck he means and discover that Gandalf is resurrected. Bam, the most emotional part of THE FELLOWSHIP OF THE RING is spoiled for you. See what I mean?

</end spoiler>

    I hate myself for buying into the hype. I have the goddamn glowing goblets from Burger King. Every night prior to December 19, I played the Howard Shore soundtrack in its entirety before falling asleep. You see, I already formulated a movie in my head as a result of digging up all the information on THE LORD OF THE RINGS, and now I even had a soundtrack to accompany it.

Hobbits like to eat mushrooms and smoke weed. HAHAHA

    Imagine my disappointment when the actual movie didn't live up to the one in my head. Sigh...... I envy my sister and her friends. They were totally blown away both viscerally and emotionally. They are Tolkien-neophytes who did not know what to expect. They had no preconceptions about fantasy genre norms like me, a long time fantasy literature reader. They enjoyed a movie on a deep level........ kind of like the first time I watched STAR WARS.

    I've seen LOTR:FOTR twice now. The first time, I nitpicked it like crazy. I didn't like the breakneck pacing. I didn't like how they started the movie w/ a prologue rather than in the Shire, so we can have the same sense of discovery as Frodo. I didn't like the lame wizard duel that didn't have a single lightning bolt. I didn't like how too many events were recounted through flashback instead of being shown to us, such as Elrond and Isildur in Mt. Doom and Gandalf's rescue by a giant eagle. I thought the whole Galadriel in Lothlorien sequence was redundant and overly CGI. 

Orcs are about as effective as battle droids.

    And don't get me started on the plot continuity problems. One scene they're at the top of a snowy mountain, the next shot they're down at the base of the mountain. How did they get down while being pelted w/ a blizzard and avalanches? How about that scene where Frodo, Sam, Merry, and Pippin first meet the Black Rider? One shot they're fleeing in the afternoon, the next shot it's pitch black evening. What the fuck? How are we supposed to be engrossed in the movie when things like that pull us right out of it? This really pissed me off.

    When I went back for my second viewing, I watched the movie for what it was. It definitely is the movie of the year. It has some real breath-taking vistas, and the camera work is really first rate. It swoops around like it's got a life of its own. Peter Jackson really did do a superb job. The design and look of the movie is also impressive. The different locales feel real and authentic. The architecture we see in Rivendell is truly some amazing set work. Kudos to WETA for their work on the elaborate visual effects, sets, and props.

L-R: Boromir, Legolas, and Aragorn.

    Let us not forget the action. LOTR:FOTR is packed w/ hand to hand combat, and it's some tight shit. You can see swordsmanship, axemanship, and some amazing bow and arrow work by Orlando Bloom, who plays Legolas the Elf. Watch for that scene where he takes an arrow, jams it in the throat of an Uruk-Hai, pulls it out, and swiftly loads it into his bow and shoots down another Uruk-Hai. Fucking badass motherfucker.

    I really would like to see the makers for LOTR:FOTR win some Oscars for their amazing work. The costume person should win, the make-up person has it locked, and WETA is a shoo-in. Peter Jackson will be at the very least nominated for Best Director. I wouldn't be surprised to see LOTR:FOTR garner a Best Picture nod either. It's the GLADIATOR of 2001: an epic that is sweeping the nation. I hope it wins, only because it'll be stacked against a bunch of piece of shit movies like THE SHIPPING NEWS. For fantasy fans' sake, please let LOTR take the crown over crap like that. 

Lothlorien was underwhelming. Sequence was too rushed.

    But most of all, I would like to see Ian McKellen take home the prize for his portrayal of Gandalf. One of the truly fine performances this year. He IS Gandalf. He doesn't just play Gandalf. He was probably my favorite thing about the entire movie, second being the Diablo-like Balrog. It's a shame I couldn't embrace the movie in its entirety. 

    Damn I sure wish I was a kid again. I was supposed to love this movie. It was supposed to make my all-time list. Sigh....... There was just nothing new to behold. My LOTR cherry had been popped prematurely. I hope that after watching the entire trilogy--because it indeed is one gigantic epic spanning 3 movies--I will come to embrace LOTR. For now, it remains merely a good movie that I'm rooting for.

Agent Smith heads the Council of Elrond.

Gerry's Grade: A-
-- Bumped up 1/3 of a grade just because it represents a watershed moment in fantasy movie history. Hopefully, LOTR:FOTR will lead to expanded budgets for fantasy genre movies and start new cultural trend. CGI technology has also reached the point where fantasy imagery can be fully realized.
-- The Mines of Moria sequence alone is worth the price of admission.
-- The weakness of the movie may perhaps be attributed to the flaws of the book. Who knows?

Gerry's Babe-o-meter: B
-- Liv Tyler is an enchanting Elf. Cate Blanchett is still a banshee.

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