GOSFORD PARK
Starring: Kristin Scott Thomas, Clive Owen, Ryan Phillippe
Directed by: Robert Altman
Distributed by: USA Films

Date: 01/26/02
By: Gerry Wang

    I think the theater where I watched GOSFORD PARK was the emptiest I've ever had. There were about 5 parties inside the theater when the movie started, and 3 parties left during the movie. Someone in the row in front of me laid down and started sleeping, snoring loudly. I kid you not. GOSFORD PARK was that boring to them. As for me, I enjoyed it a whole lot. I just wish there were subtitles, because the stuffy British accents were sometimes tough to understand.

Egads Watson, they wear tuxedos for leisure.

    GOSFORD PARK is an exercise in flawless direction, w/ Robert Altman weaving together a huge ensemble cast and navigating his camera around the corridors and stairways of a British manor. You don't feel the presence of cameras and crews. Altman thrusts us completely into the world of snobby British cosmopolitans, rubbing our faces in their utter opulence as well as decadence. You hate these people w/ a passion, but you envy them like hell.

    Downstairs, it's a whole new world, almost a whole new movie. Downstairs are the servants, valets, butlers, cooks, and maids that wait on their masters hand and foot. They get treated like shit, but they act totally subservient when upstairs. They don't want to lose their jobs, for they are poor, uneducated, and stuck in their profession for life.

Mr. Reese Witherspoon

    But boy do they talk smack when no one's looking. They're always gossiping and insulting the very people they cower in front of. They were just as venomous as those snobby rich folks. It was hilarious, as the two worlds collide. The snappy dialogue and retorts were exemplary of dry British wit, and some of the coldest, most cruel characters are the ones you grow fond of, particularly Maggie Smith's icy bitch goddess.

    GOSFORD PARK is essentially a movie about social classes, and how when you strip away all the gilded facades, rich folk are just as scummy as poor folk. Altman captures some ingenious moments showing us the dramatic difference in social ranking, but these moments are tiny and subtle. Things such as the butler surreptitiously finger-wiping the lip of a pitcher he just poured and licking the residue and quickly glancing around to make sure no one saw him.

Clive Owen is a candidate to replace Pierce Brosnan as the next James Bond. He'd be a good choice.

    One particular moment was utterly heart-wrenching, as a suave matinee idol sits at the piano and starts playing and singing beautiful songs. The rich snobs are sitting around apathetically, some even wishing he'd stop the racket. But all the servants drop everything they're doing and just sit there listening, because it is the most beautiful thing they've heard in a long time. They never get to experience pleasure, and this fleeting sample meant the world to them. However, they had to keep one eye on the piano and the other on their masters, 'cause if they got caught, then it's overs.

    If the whole movie was just about the dynamic of the servants and masters, I'd be happy to recommend GOSFORD PARK. But when the plot takes a turn into Agatha Christie territory, it screeches to a halt. USA Films should stop marketing this as a murder mystery, cause the mystery was stupid. The inspector that came to interrogate everyone was the anti-Holmes. The movie started going downhill as soon as the murder happened.

Maggie Smith was great. Vile, but great.

    Those people that left the theater were on to something-- Watch GOSFORD PARK until the murder happens, then get up and leave or take a nap. You'll be happier in the end.

Grade: B+
-- Fine movie expertly directed by Robert Altman. The whodunit part stunk. The rest was sharp.

Babe-o-meter: F-
-- Ugh. You can forget about having serving-wench fantasies.