Excerpt from G.W.S. Issue #2
Date: 9-08-01
by Gerry Wang

2001 Summer Movie Roundup

    This summer, I practically spent every Friday night at the AMC 20 in Poontang Hills. The movie theater became THE place to conduct social get-togethers, because every damn week there was a new blockbuster being rolled out. Me being cheap also led me to start theater-hopping, so I was able to catch some little movies that would've never paid for. So here's a list of what thought of the movies I saw this summer, beginning in May and ending in August:

The Best (ranked)

1.) The Others - If this movie didn't have so many parts that dragged, it would've made my all-time list. Had one of the best endings of all time, plus a great edge-of-sanity performance by Nicole Kidman.

2.) Rush Hour 2 - Funny from start to finish, and Chris Tucker is a riot. People bash him for being loud and obnoxious and anti-white people. Notice how only white people have a problem w/ him.

3.) Shrek - Sorry, I'm not one of those people that ejaculate whenever someone mentions Shrek. It was excellent, but not better than the Toy Story movies. Felt the ending was a cop-out, since Cameron Diaz stayed a beautiful princess rather than an ugly troll like Shrek.

4.) The Fast and the Furious - Adrenaline pumping, heart beating-out-your-chest racing thriller. They brought the Supra out of retirement. Excellent...... I just had a problem w/ how they made Asians stupid enough to take on cars while riding motorcycles. Gee, who's gonna win?

5.) The Score - What a great cast. De Niro, Brandon, and the rising star Ed Norton. Great heist movie, especially in its realism. This particularly true in the scenes protraying the physical strain of actually pulling off a heist. Being a burglar ain't easy work.

6.) Made - Stars Jon Favreau and Vince Vaughn of Swingers fame. How could it not be good? I didn't get to watch the whole thing, but during the 45 minutes I did watch, I sensed greatness. Gonna catch it for sure in its entirety.

7.) Pearl Harbor - Didn't suck, but could've been great if less Disney-sanitized. What they needed was a director like Steven Spielberg, who would command the respect of the studio so that they'd let him show his original vision.

8.) American Pie 2 - More of the same old, same old, but hey, it's nice to re-visit old friends. Who can forget Jim, Oz, and Stifler? I do have one beef. SPOILERS AHEAD! Stop reading. Anyway, Shermanator gets Nadia. I've never heard an audience simultaneously groan before.

9.) Jurassic Park 3 - I love dinosaurs, and the pteradons were just the best. Too bad the movie was so shallow and haphazardly written. Now here's a movie where digital actors were all they needed.

10.) Jay & Silent Bob Strike Back - Raunchy fun, w/ hot chicks and great celebrity cameos. Nice way to close the summer. This is one of those "love it or hate it" movies. I enjoyed it a whole lot. Jason Mewes IS Jay. I still believe Jay and Silent Bob are real life people.

The Piddling Middle of the Road

Legally Blonde - I saw this for free, so no one better make that w-psh! whipped sound.

A.I. - This movie might have to grow on me. Grow on me like fooking fungus, 'cause it sucked.

Dr. Doolittle 2 - Amiable talking animals, w/ Eddie Murphy schmoozing his way through the whole movie. Good for kids.

Kiss of the Dragon - Death by Acupuncture. Good violence in this movie, but I personally am looking forward to The One more.

Scary Movie 2 - I enjoyed this one more than the first one, probably because I didn't have to keep covering my 12-year old cousin's eyes this time around.

Evolution - Unmemorable. I forgot I even watched this movie. It disappeared off the radar fast.

Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within - Awesome graphics, stupid story, statue-like characters. Rice was right: A 2-hour cutscene.

The Crap

Planet of the Apes - Damn you! You maniacs! You fooked up a good franchise! Damn you all to hellll!

Moulin Rouge - I was thoroughly irritated by this movie. I usually love musicals, but I don't like to be bludgeoned by them.

The Mummy Returns - I left the movie scratching my head. I was supposed to enjoy movies like this. I coulda sworn.........

Lara Croft: Tomb Raider - Wow, did Angelina Jolie have a bad summer or what. First Tomb Raider, then the following movie.

Original Sin - They caught my attention whenever Angelina Jolie's titties came on, but unfortunately, they weren't enough to save this harlequin romance novel-like film.

Sorry I Missed 'Em



Atlantis: The Lost Empire - Fack, I wanted to watch this so badly. I will catch it on rental one of these days.

The Princess Diaries - The trailer said it all. First, I was like, fook that girl is fugly. Then I was like, oh shit, she is pretty. They deserve a special effects Oscar for this makeover.

Spy Kids: Special Edition - The original Spy Kids was fooking awesome. I kept raving about it to everyone, but everyone looked at me w/ pity, like I had a serious case of Peter Pan syndrome. But I'm telling you Spy Kids is enjoyable for people of all ages. It's fun, energetic, and full of wonderful gadgets. The Special Edition had a couple new scenes, like the one in the cave of sleeping sharks.